Canada To Get Its Very Own Fox News

A crazed French Canadian media tycoon named Pierre Karl Péladeau is trying to make himself the Canadian Rupert Murdoch. His scarily named Quebecor corporation announced today that it is launching a cable news network based on Fox News.

Sun TV News, which had been dubbed "Fox News North" when it was still just a rumor, is modeled on America's number one news network in that it too will feature a button-pushing conservative agenda advanced by a nice crazy bundle of mangled facts, sweeping generalizations, and panic-inducing insinuations. A Quebecor monster with the monstery name of Kory Teneycke told The Toronto Star that current Canadian news is "narrow, complacent and politically correct" and that, like Fox, the new network will deliver newsy stuff by day and insane religious ranting "straight talk" at night.

But don't go getting scared that our delightfully witless neighbors to the north are gonna get all loony and Tea Partyish. No, no. It being Canada, conservatism up there mostly has to do with how many moose you think the government should give you every year and whether or not you have a bumper sticker on your sleigh that says "Support Our Mounties." There are no actual conservatives with political agency in that genteel nation of syrup farmers and teen actors.

Oh, wait. Does he count?