Scandal! Republican operatives have obtained Barack Obama's personal planner and leaked it in a new attack ad. It appears that the only thing Obama did during the oil spills' 58 days was hang out with celebrities and golf!
The ad released was released today, the day of the White House's big BP smackdown. It's a stinging indictment of Obama's lackadaisical approach to the oil spill. (He went golfing six times in 58 days!) And at :20, we see that GOP has somehow obtained an actual page from Barack Obama's real planner. What is shows is shocking:
(You can tell it's his real planner because it has his picture on it. Each president is given a personalized planner with their face emblazoned on it during a candlelight ceremony in a secret vault underneath the National Archives.)
This is like the Pentagon Papers plus the Wikileaks video and Watergate combined; this thing is going to bring down the Obama administration! It's a lot to digest, so here are just a few observations:
- Like every American, Obama leaves the worst things on his "To Do" list until last. (Underneath "Call BP CEO" it says "Have 'the talk' with Malia.")
- Obama is apparently a man who needs to write himself reminders to go on his family vacation. And he's the Commander in Chief!?
- Bono is so powerful that American presidents call him. Is our country secretly being run by Bono?
- We've heard that the GOP has also obtained Barack Obama's shopping list: A carton of Marlboro Lights and a hardcover copy of How to Ruin the Country for Dummies. Chilling.