Blues music is built on shattered dreams and broken hearts. This is why someone must make Cablevision CEO Jimmy Dolan happy ASAP. It's the only way he'll stop recording terrible vanity blues albums!
Last we left James L. Dolan—Knicks, Rangers and Madison Square Garden owner—he was leading a campaign against the Village Voice, which cost them $1 million/year in lost advertisement. This was revenge for a dumb, one-sentence penis joke former Gawker weekend editor Foster Kamer made at his expense. A real-life Cocksucker Blues.
Now, The New York Times takes a look at Dolan's musical output. In the article, we learn that besides massively over-reacting and pulling all his company's advertising from a newspaper, Dolan's primary mode of communication is country blues music. See, he has a lot of problems with the media. And
Such encounters are why he rarely speaks to reporters, he explained at a recent rehearsal for his country blues band, JD & The Straight Shot, and chooses "to let my music speak for me."
And what does his music say about him? Listen to "The Daily News Blues," a song about Jimmy Dolan's archnemesis, The New York Daily News, and judge for yourself
Wait, we want to judge too! If this song was speaking for Jimmy Dolan, it would say "Hi, I'm billionaire James L. Dolan. Do you like this band I bought with my money, which I sing karaoke in front of? Here, listen to one of the three albums I paid to have made, too."
Sometimes, Jimmy Dolan gets his friends in the music industry to let him play warm-up for actual musicians like the Dixie Chicks, as he did at the Meadowlands last week. The Times says he does have one legitimate fan, though! Eliot Spitzer, who is the subject of Dolan's song "Fall from Grace":
"I always admired the multiple layers of Jim's personality," said Mr. Spitzer, who declined to discuss the private meeting. "I applaud his creativity."
As far as we know, Jimmy Dolan did not pay him to say this.
[Top photo via Getty]