Lindsay Lohan to Pose Naked with Alcohol-Monitoring SCRAM Bracelet

Lohan's people will probably airbrush the SCRAM out of her nudie pics, but hopefully there will be outtakes. The Bachelor breaks up with his reality TV-anointed wife. Everybody who's anybody is posting Miley Cyrus crotch pictures, now. Tuesday gossip cometh.

  • Lindsay Lohan will be posing nude to promote her new 6126 handbag line (the brand name is Marilyn Monroe's birthday, and the same label as her leggings line) and her handlers haven't decided if her booze-sniffing SCRAM ankle bracelet will be featured. (Marilyn wore nothing but Chanel perfume; LiLo wears nothing but a court-monitored alcohol-monitoring device.) "We're thinking of having police on hand so we can remove the ankle bracelet for the pictures," one 6126 collaborator said. They are considering airbrushing the SCRAM out, but I say, leave it in! Those ads will become collectors' items—a tragic sign of the times when starlets were boozehound criminals. [Us, image via @lindsaylohan, with caption "#captainOBVIOUSreturns—this is a place i will NOT be hangin' at!"]

  • Speaking of LiLo, Eleonore Lieven, the assistant who walked out on Lindsay Lohan in a huff early this month, may be called to testify in Lindsay's probation violation trial. Apparently the district attorney is still weighing whether or not to be Eleonore on the stand, "but if she is called, it could be very explosive." This would be amazing, but I have a feeling the anonymous source in this story is bogus. [Radar]

  • Lindsay Lohan to Pose Naked with Alcohol-Monitoring SCRAM BraceletLady Gaga showed her butt in a Terry Richardson photo shoot for Rolling Stone. There's an article, too, but who cares when Gaga's glute-glutes are featured on the cover. [RollingStone, EW]

  • Months before his death, Gary Coleman was granted a restraining order on live-in ex-wife Shannon Price, the lady who pulled the plug on him. Apparently he neve served it to her, though. He just couldn't make his mind up about Shannon, could he? [Radar]

  • Tennis legend loses loot to loose-lipped lesbian lover: Martina Navratilova is shelling at $3 million to hush up ex-partner Toni Layton, who threatened to reveal her secrets if she didn't get the money, homes, cars, jewelry, and other shared goods she wanted. Martina's previous ex is dating a former Miss Universe, $3.5 million richer from her break-up with Navratilova. Sleazy as it is to threaten to tell someone's secrets, I'm dying to know the skeletons in a closets of uber-rich lesbian beauty queens and pro-athletes. [P6]

  • The Bachelor Jake Pavelka and the lady who won his show, Vienna Girardi, have split, their publicist confirms. Vienna met one of the actors from Greek and "danced the night away" to celebrate. Now everyone wants to know if Jake will return to runner-up Ali Fedotowsky, because apparently the message from Jake and Vienna's break-up wasn't clear enough: The Bachelor isn't real. As I was typing that, a vision of a "divorced" Heidi Montag as The Bachelorette danced through my head like a terrible sugar plum. [OK, E!]

  • Oh look, another person posted a picture of Miley Cyrus' crotch. The Superficial posts the same vulva-esque picture Perez tweeted yesterday with a "if you are easily offended do NOT click here" caveat. Someday, the internet will be nothing but wall-to-wall photos of Miley Cyrus' nethers. [Superficial]

  • Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr are getting married. Miranda once described her "ideal situation" as "on a farm in a solar-powered house with a hammock and a vegetable patch." [P6]

  • Will Forte and Jason Sudelkis had a "mancation" in Turks and Caicos for Will's birthday. (Are we now adding "man" to everything that has to do with hetero men spending time together? It's not exactly a new phenomenon—why do we need a new name?) Will wore a hat that said "Will Forty" and they sang karaoke to such manly tunes as "What a Fool Believes" by the Doobie Brothers. Then they iced each other and slapped tabasco sauce across their hirsute chests while burping. Men! [P6]

  • Speaking of bros: Michael Phelps was "surrounded by girls" at McLovin actor Christopher Mintz-Plasse's 21st birthday party. Can you believe that kid was actually underage when he filmed Superbad? Then again, only an underage child could so accurately portray the trials and tribulations of getting drunk for the first (few) time(s). [P6]

  • Slipknot bassist Paul Gray's autopsy is done: "Accidental overdose of morphine." [TMZ]

  • Yesterday we read that Prince Harry and girlfriend Chelsy Davy broke up. And today, we get a denial: They're long-distance lovers, now, but still going strong. Sorry, crown-chasers and ginger fetishists: Harry is not available. [Us]