Fans of Greg the Bunny were excited to tune into MTV's Warren the Ape last night to see the former's lead character back in action. Unfortunately, Warren's awful deeds led the squeaky-clean Greg down a path to ass-rape and jail.
Here's the show-opener, where Dr. Drew expresses his concern for Warren's behavior and tells him that he can't have sex for 30 days. Warren decides he must find someone who's pure in order to stay away from his vices.
Warren meets Greg for lunch, and the two decide to start hanging out. Greg invites him along to hang out with his friends—which actually meant playing Dungeons and Dragons in the back of a Comic Book Store.
After seeing how straight-up geeky Greg's life has become, Warren goes on a mission to get him laid. The next scene takes place at a bar, and Greg's been dressed as Mystery. He approaches a girl, messing up all of the Mystery Method's strategies—neg's, peacocking, etc—and spews talk of Star Wars at his "one-set." (Uh, yeah, I was a big fan of VH1's The Pickup Artist. I found all of the contestants adorable, and Mystery to be not attractive in the least.) When Greg worries about his awful attire, Warren advises "girls love douchebags!"
Since picking up chicks online didn't work out too well, Warren encourages Greg to find love over the internet. An unfortunate misinterpretation of the words "i'm a minor" lead Greg to believe the girl he's speaking to is a Coal Miner. When he heads to her house for a date, he's approached by a Chris Hansen-like character, TV cameras, and a pack of cops waiting outside to arrest him. Warren, clearly to blame for the whole ordeal, visits him in jail: