We go to Martha Stewart for many things—recipes, decorating tips, officious WASP-y superiority—but for blue humor? Never! But now she's posting suggestive pictures on her Facebook page and our universe is turned upside down.
Hmm, Martha. We wonder. Is it because they look like asparagus? No. Sticks? Guess again. Chef Hats? Not even close. It's cause they're giant rock hard penises! Oh, Martha, you dirty old girl. We like you much better when you're posting dirty pictures than when you're Tweeting photos of wanton destruction.