In Florida, the place where all good fights happen. Also today: Matt Damon is looking to buy a zoo, a werewolf movie finds its requisite priest, Jason Biggs is teaming up with a Gyllenhaal, and AMC has a new show.
Attractive nice person Matt Damon may be playing the lead in Cameron Crowe's We Bought a Zoo, based on the true story of a family that bought a zoo and fixed it up and sort of put their emotional focus into it after the mother died of a brain tumor. So a serious weepy from Matt Damon, who hasn't done such a picture since... what? Bagger Vance? That doesn't even really count. Folks are comparing it to Marley & Me which actuallllyyyy wasn't bad. The Cameron Crowe element could mean good things — Almost Famous! Say Anything...! — or it could mean very, very bad things (Elizabethtown is perhaps one of the worst movies of the '00s, no?). But Matt Damon kinda makes everything good, what with his niceness and his good lookingness and all that stuff he does so well. [THR]
Jason Biggs is starring in a Gyllenhaal movie! No, sigh, not a Jake or Maggie movie. A Stephen, their dad, movie. Yeah. Stevie G. wrote and will direct a movie called Grassroots, a comedy about Seattle politics. So. There you have it. Did anyone really ever have a plan for Jason Biggs? Was there a long term strategy developed somewhere around the second American Pie or maybe Loser? It really doesn't seem that way, huh? Everyone just sorta said, "Well... that was interesting," and walked off in different directions. I mean, he's fine. He's doing fine. I'm certainly not in any movies about Seattle politics that I'm aware of, are you? So he's doing well. It's just... Hm. I wonder. [Variety]
Remember back in the '80s when two pop mall witches emerged on the horizon, one coming from the east, the other from the west, and they had a sing battle in a shopping center and they sang and they fought so hard that they exploded and both disappeared? Well they are back and they are dueling again. Yes, Debbie Gibson and Tiffany have been cast as rivals in the Syfy original movie Mega Python vs. Gatoroid, a documentary about reptiles, clearly. Debbie plays the Mega Python and Tiffany is, of course, Gatoroid. Ha ha, no silly. Actually, Debbie will play an animal-rights fanatic who releases rare snakes into a swamp where they grow really big, and Tiffany will play a park ranger who really likes alligators, who, I guess, grow really big. Supposedly their characters get in an altercation at a party at one point. So, good work everyone. I can't wait to see Tiffany in her Gatoroid costume. "I think we're alone now, Mega Python." [THR]
Here's something that sounds really lowbrow. Fernando Meirelles (City of God, The Constant Gardener) has signed a deal to direct a script by Peter Morgan (The Queen, Frost/Nixon) called 360. It's about "sexual morals within and between social classes" and was inspired by an Austrian play written in 1900. God, why must Hollywood serve us this dumbed-down bullshit all the time? I mean sure, once in a while you get a challenging movie like Marmaduke and you figure someone out there in Tinselwood knows what they're doing, but for the most part you get 360. I mean, another movie based on a turn-of-the-century Austrian play? I mean what's next, a remake of Young Medardus? Ridiculous. Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Third Nut can't come quick enough. [Deadline]
AMC just keeps making shows that sound like movies! First there was Rubicon, a spy thriller about a particular mystery that should probably end after two hours. Then there was The Walking Dead, about a zombie apocalypse (oh holy cats I am so excited/scared for a weekly zombie series, oh gosh gosh gosh I can't wait). And now there's The Wreck, about
your mom a high school football coach with one season to turn it all around. That sort of sounds like a movie. It's even exec-produced by the guy who directed the gritty verite indie picture The Blind Side. Hm. A football coach with one season to turn it all around. It's too bad there isn't already a beautiful and special television series about that that we could watch. Oh well. [THR]
Lukas Haas, who ruined his career with Boys but revived it with Brick, has taken a role in Red Riding Hood, the supernatural thriller directed by Catherine Hardwicke, of The Twilight. He's gonna play a priest. The movie is about fucking werewolves. Isn't that annoying? It's just another goddamned werewolf movie that Kitty Hardwicke is directing because she couldn't do Twi-Twinkle: The Second One. It was written by the guy who wrote Orphan, so in the end it turns out that it wasn't a werewolf at all, it was just a 32-year-old Estonian dwarf. That's all. [Variety]