Today our line-waiting anthropologist Brian Moylan compared iPhone fanatics with Twilight fanatics. One commenter, though, thinks it was maybe an apples and oranges comparison. Because nothing can ever be the same as teen desire.
These photos remind me of the nightmare that was puberty and the furious, unrelenting passion that came with it. Though it was the boys of the post-grunge alternative scene that really did it for me (Gavin Rossdale, I am looking at you), that feeling inside your chest (not loins, but chest) of being completely seized by an esoteric Prince Charming seems to be universal among 15 year old females. I'd be willing to argue that there is nothing, I mean NOTHING, that can rival the desire of a pubescent girl. To this day, it was the most arresting thing I have ever endured, and it is for this reason that iPad fanboys are never going to have anything on Beatlemania/Beiber Fever/Jonas Boners/etc. Were I to have been within touching distance of Gavin at any point between 1995 and 1999, there would have been no force known to man that could have kept my grubby paws off of him.
Jesus, I'm glad that's over.