The Week We Blamed It On the Bud Light Lime

This was a week of strange news, of sad news, and of news that got people fired. Let's take a look back.

This week began with tragedy. Amanda Bynes retired from acting and these people didn't. You know who should also retire forever and never say anything ever again? Politician of sorts Star Parker, who thinks that gay marriage will cause AIDS. These ancient Google employees should retire too, because they are so old and ancient. Stanley McChrystal didn't have to retire! A magazine interview got him fired instead.

You know what are gross? Subways. How gross? This gross. Which is actually not quite as gross as an Al Gore Sex Attack.

Science! Who doesn't love it? Whether it's listening to the 'God Particle' or building a nuclear reactor in Brooklyn, everyone is all into the science. Even the famous gay person Michelangelo liked science. Anatomical science.

You know what's an unfortunate state? Florida. Luckily it and its neighbors are about to get less unfortunate, thanks to that awesome oil spill.

OK, time to talk about the kids. What were the kids doing this week? They were waiting in line for Twilight. They were pulling scams in California. They were admitting defeat. They were having mommy and daddy get them jobs. They were planning weddings (for mommy and daddy). They were doing all that on top of holding down very demanding jobs. Phew!

Bodies: we all have them (hopefully) and we all need them. We all have crotches. We all have nipples. And we all are scared of getting fat. That's just the way being a human works. Oh and sometimes our bodies betray us and we fall down.

Sigh. This week we had television. A war was waged in New Jersey. Genuine tragedy struck the high seas. And the French embarrassed themselves. Sacre blew!

Is there anything else? Nope, don't think so. Everyone get outta here 'til Monday. (Well, actually 'til tomorrow, for Adrian.) Safe driving!