Supreme Court Strikes Down Gun Bans On Every LevelS

Great news, Chicago! The Supreme Court has struck down your handgun ban. Everyone go buy like ten. And no other state or locality better think about the outright banning of handguns, because this Supreme Court will strike those down too.

In a 5-4 decision — a clean liberal/conservative justice split, as always — the Court ruled "that the Constitution's 'right to keep and bear arms' applies nationwide as a restraint on the ability of the federal, state and local governments to substantially limit its reach." The ruling came in an appeals case against the last two blanket handgun bans in the nation, that of Chicago and its suburb, Oak Park.

It follows up on 2008's District of Columbia vs. Heller, which overturned the District's longstanding handgun ban, at least as it applies within the household. But that ruling just applied to federal territories; this one makes it clear that no state or local governing body can institute similar laws.

For those of you who hate guns big-time, it'll be okay. Rejoice in your closure! Now everyone knows that outright bans will be dismissed on every level under this Supreme Court, as precedent has been hinting at since the Heller case. But there are other laws that can be written in your liberal, pagan enclave. Like, "No dingbat can run around the street waving guns like there's no tomorrow," or "Stop shooting at me, plz."