Feds Arrest Ten 'Russian Spies'S

Hooray, the Cold War is back and awesome. The U.S. government has arrested 10 Russian secret agents who were working "long-term" on getting all of our juiciest bits. Cables from Moscow were intercepted and everything! Holy potatoes.

The AP reports that eight of the ten were arrested for "allegedly carrying out long-term, deep cover assignments in the United States on behalf of Russia," while two others were "allegedly participating in the same Russian intelligence program within the United States." Well, now they're all busted and screwed forever.

What exactly is the legal issue in question, though?

Federal law prohibits individuals from acting as agents of foreign governments within the United States without notifying the U.S. attorney general.

Ah, right. That old law that says you can't fucking spy on the U.S. for Russia. Unless you get the attorney general drunk enough to sign your permission slip, and that may not have happened this, time.

Meanwhile: Jesus Christ, Russia, get some fancier code-speak.

The U.S. government intercepted a message from Russian intelligence headquarters in Moscow to two of the defendants, Richard and Cynthia Murphy.

''You were sent to USA for long-term service trip,'' the message from Moscow. ''Your education, bank accounts, car, house etc. — all these serve one goal: fulfill your main mission, i.e. to search and develop ties in policymaking circles in US and sent intels,'' the message added.