The Way We Live Now: Ah, fuck, what happened to the stock market?
The Dow (or should we say "The Down," ha) is below ten thousand again. Don't panic! We can deal with this. We simply need to institute a few modest proposals.
Ireland. Nobody's using it. Sell it! And eat the people!
Method Man. He doesn't want to pay his taxes? Sell him! And eat him!
Scammers. Harassing desperate people with "work at home" hustles. Sold! Eaten!
Checking. It's no longer free. What to do with your now-inaccessible empty checking account? Sell it! Chow down!
The population at large. Their income goes up, but their spending doesn't? Ungrateful bastards. They should be sold off to the highest bidder! Hopefully one with a big appetite, for poors!
Once these common sense steps have been taken, we have full confidence that the Down will be Up again, sooner or later probably.