White Powders Found on Lindsay Lohan Are Not Crushed Breath Mints and Other Obvious ConclusionsS

The cops who busted Lindsay Lohan mistook her drug stash for a crushed mint. Tinsley Mortimer faked a relationship. John McCain loves to gamble. Things get even dicier for The Office. Hump day's gossip is full of boobs.

  • There are just so many places to start with this story about a cop throwing Lindsay Lohan's cocaine in the trash after her 2007 DUI. According to the police report, after the arrest the Santa Monica Police officer found a folded up Clinique Sun Care Card in her pocket that contained a white powder. After Lohan was booked, he threw it in the trash because he thought the white powder was a "wet, crushed breath mint." OK, you find a white powder on Lindsay Lohan and you think it's a crushed breath mint? Doesn't he read the tabloid press at all? And who would have a crushed breath mint in their pocket in the first place? That's like what you tell a police officer the white powder in your pocket is when it's really cocaine and then he doesn't believe you and he hauls you off to jail. Anyway, when it was in the trash, some powder fell on the floor and the guy was like, "Oh, I guess that's not a Cert that has been ground to a fine powder by a starlet's bony ass, it's actually cocaine. That's probably, like, evidence or something." Sigh. Police. Also, what the hell is a Clinique Sun Care Card? Is that anything like Dina Lohan's Black Carvel Card? [TMZ]

  • Turns out that Tinsley Mortimer's fling with American Idol loser and Broadway's Rock of Ages star Constantine Maroulis was nothing but a stunt for her reality show High on Society or whatever it was called. Well, you don't say? How do we know? Because Maroulis knocked up one of the chorus girls in the show. This item is just full of cliches. And, damn Tinz, you're going to have a fake relationship and the best you could do was Constantine Maroulis?! [P6]

  • You thought things on the set of The Office would be weird now that Steve Carell announced he's leaving, but this is going to make it even worse. Angela Kinsey, who plays Angela on the show, just filed for divorce from her husband, Warren Lieberstein, who happens to be a writer and producer of the NBC sitcom. Wow, looks like the actors really will be working in an episode of The Office. [TMZ]

  • Yesterday Elizabeth Vargas hosted a segment on Good Morning America talking about the lawsuit Michael Douglas' ex Diandra brought against the star asking for part of his Wall Street 2 money. Whoop de doo! Well, it looks like Vargas might have mentioned that she dated Douglas immediately after the divorce was finalized. Actually, that full disclosure might have been the most exciting part of the whole segment. [P6]

  • Guess what, guys? John McCain once won a whole bunch of money playing craps at a casino but then kept gambling and lost most if it. Isn't that exciting! That makes him just like every wanna be high roller that has ever gone to Las Vegas. So, he's a gambler and a maverick. Wasn't that a Mel Gibson movie? [Gatecrasher]

  • Oh my god, it's an "Exclusive!" report that America's Got Talent judge Piers Morgan is going to replace Larry King when he steps down from his CNN show this fall! Sorry guys, but we think this is pretty old news. [RadarOnline]

  • Jersey Store star The Situation celebrated his 28th birthday last night at Tenjune and he was presented with a birthday cake in the shape of his muscled torso. Wait, you mean The Situation is really only 28? [RadarOnline]

  • Sexy True Blood star Ryan Kwanten was in the Hamptons last weekend and was swarmed by women looking to get his attention. Fucking duh! [Page Six]
  • Former Vogue-r Sally Singer, the new EIC at the New York Times' T magazine, hired a new fashion director. That means former fashion director Anne Christensen, who was a candidate for Stringer's new job, is out on her ass. That sucks. No news on who Christensen's replacement is. Well, at least there's an opening at Vogue, maybe two, depending on who is replacing her. [Gatecrasher]

  • [Image via Pacific Coast News]