The Way We Live Now: totally misunderstanding the situation. It says here that some of you youngsters remain optimistic about your chances out there? Allow us to correct your mistaken idealistic perceptions.

So, according to these here figures, "Of all age groups, Americans 18 to 29 were most likely to say they believed their financial circumstances would improve over the next year." That's funny, because it's my understanding that the young people are the ones who haven't earned any money yet. A full half of the nation's workforce has had their employment directly negatively affected by this financial collapse. The young half, for the most part! And it's not like they're going to get rich next year—this recovery is going to be slowwwwwwwww.

With poor economic comprehension like that, our young folks will never get decent jobs. I mean, if they were German, sure; Germans can't help but to get jobs. But Americans? I just can't see why anyone would take a chance on them. Growing up to be a drunk oil trader like the Brits would actually be aspirational, because it would mean that they'd somehow been hired as an oil trader in the first place. More likely, American kids will just remain huddled around the mailbox, praying their voodoo prayers for the dwindling government stimulus money, growing ever more fearful.

Oh you know what they might could do though? Line sitter. Sit in line for tickets and things like that. Try it, kids. It's your only hope.

[Pic: Shutterstock]