Today in Factual Accounts of True Tales of American Heroism That Should Not Be Characterized as Propaganda: Hero Navy SEALs have rescued a helpless eagle that was shot by a fiendish Afghani.

The basic, unadorned facts, according to an unbiased story in the Albany newspaper based on emails from Dept. of Defense employees, who have never been known to lie:

The steppe eagle was shot earlier this month on a rifle range, where Navy SEALs were training Afghan soldiers. According to White, the Afghan soldier had one bullet left in his rifle, the eagle landed out on the rifle range "and he decided to take a shot at it, and unfortunately hit it."

Now the tender-hearted US warriors are trying to get the humble bird (an inferior brown eagle, but this is Afghanistan, everything's brown over there) shipped back to America for care—if only they can overcome the fiendish red tape of bureaucrats who never spent a day of their life under the gun. We can only hope that our nation's media awaken from their unpatriotic focus on all the "problems" in Afghanistan and spread the word about this heartwarming story far and wide, preferably for weeks on end, to the exclusion of everything else! [Pic via]