TONIGHT: Ease in from your long weekend revelry with a new episode of the Bachelorette, the Bristol Palin guest spot on Secret Life of the American Teenager and brand new Hard Times of RJ Berger and Warren the Ape.

8:00 PM

The Bachelorette Ali and the remaining idiots land in Portugal and tour ancient castles and have private concerts, just like you do all the time. Also, Bachelor Jake and Vienna discuss their break up, which no one saw coming. (ABC)
Persons Unknown A newcomer with a tattoo lashes out at the group. Meanwhile, a connection is made between two people's ordeals. (NBC)
Secret Life of the American Teenager Bristol Palin guest stars as a cardboard cutout come to life. (ABC FAM)

9:00 PM

Last Comic Standing Would-be contestants compete in the second semi-final round. Gosh, between this show and America's Got Talent, NBC is auditioning like half the country. (NBC)
Huge Aren't you curious to see how they'll follow up on last week's strip tease moment? I sure am. (ABC FAM)
The Best Thing I Ever Ate Food Network personalities recall their favorite appetizers. (FOOD)

10:00 PM

True Beauty The remaining contestants compete to be bridesmaids or groomsmen. (ABC)
The Hard Times of RJ Berger Jenny dumps Max and asks RJ to study with her. (MTV)

10:30 PM

Warren the Ape Warren tries to make amends for his past behavior. (MTV)

Who's on the Late Night Couches Tonight?

The Daily Show: Denis Leary (Comedy Central)
The Colbert Report: Dr. Michio Kaku (Comedy Central)
Jimmy Kimmel Live: Queen Latifah, Jake Pavelka & Vienna Girardi, Galactic (ABC, repeat)
Lopez Tonight: Ryan Phillippe, Niecy Nash, Mario Lopez (TBS, repeat)
Chelsea Lately Vodka tasting demo segment with Claire Smith, Gary Valentine, Jason Sklar, Natasha Leggero (E!)
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno: Denis Leary, Judd Apatow, Alanis Morissette (NBC, repeat)
Late Night with Jimmy Fallon: Jessica Biel, Craig Robinson, Phish (NBC, repeat)
Late Show with David Letterman: Alec Baldwin, the National (CBS, repeat)
Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson: Kyra Sedgwick, Tom Felton (CBS, repeat)