Meet Jessica Simpson's New Boyfriend, and Other Awkward Encounters

Jessica Simpson has a new boyfriend. Geri Haliwell has a bad boyfriend. Christiano Ronaldo has a mysterious baby-mama. Kate Hudson's boyfriend has a date with Goldie Hawn. George Clooney has a court date. Tuesday's gossip is all about meeting people.

  • You will be surprised to learn that Jessica Simpson is dating a football player! Oh, you are not surprised? His name is Eric Johnson, and he used to be a tight end for the 49ers. Stop! Before you make that joke, about the "tight end" thing, be aware that football players have been making it for years. Okay, you may continue. [TMZ]

  • Geri Haliwell, who was one of the Spice Girls, got in a big fight at the beach with her boyfriend Henry Beckwith, about whether Heidegger's critique of Nietzsche was accurate. Ha, well, it was about that and it was about Henry looking at some girl's ass, really blatantly, on camera. If nothing else, we got a great series of photos out of it! [Daily Mail]

  • George Clooney has been ordered to Milan to testify in the case being brought against three people who started a fashion label in his name. The judge said fans would be able "to come close to their hero." Great idea, judge. [Perez Hilton]

  • Lindsay Lohan, star of The Parent Trap: Where is she now? Catching up with her alcohol awareness classes, in an attempt to stay out of jail. [TMZ]

  • A Portuguese newspaper is reporting that Christiano Ronaldo paid an American woman to have his child as a surrogate. Which is just weird enough to be true, maybe. [Daily Mail]

  • Johnny Weir, the "fierce" figure skater who captured America's bi-curious heart during the Winter Olympics, had a particularly "fierce" birthday party, where he was "grinding with both boys and girls." Boys and girls! I just had a heart attack! He turned 26. [Page 6]

  • Kate Hudson's new boyfriend Matt Bellamy, who is in the objectively terrible rock band Muse, will be introduced Goldie Hawn next week. "I'm quite nervous," he said, of meeting the star of The Banger Sisters. [People]

  • Lily Allen might be pregnant! Or, she might just not be drinking alcohol, smoking cigarettes, or wearing tight clothing. In which case, she might be a Seventh Day Adventist! [Daily Mail]

  • A creepy and sad video of Phil Spector talking about his arrest was released, which you can watch, if you really want to. [TMZ]

  • Down Periscope funnyman Kelsey Grammer posted a note on his "blog" this weekend letting everyone know that he did call his kids on Father's Day, despite rumors to the contrary. So, no need to burn those Cheers DVDs in protest. [People]

  • Michael Lohan and Rachel Uchitel met in the Hamptons this weekend, which is two horsemen short of an apocalypse. TMZ called them an "unlikely duo," which is like calling peanut butter and jelly an "odd pairing." [TMZ]

[Pic via Getty]