Sleepy Ozzy Osbourne With Osteoporosis and Fireworks Don't Mix

Osteo danger! Fireworks injuries! Sleepy teens! Picky eaters! Ozzy columns! Obese necks! Gifted tests! And hair loss genes that want to render your body uncommonly smooth! It's your Tuesday Health Watch, where we watch your health—one-handed, by necessity!

  • Now doctors say that yearly screenings for osteoporosis may do more harm than good. Unless you have osteoporosis.
  • A Long Island man blew off his arm lighting fireworks last weekend, proving once again that fireworks and arms are natural enemies.
  • Your teen wasn't just complaining: turns out that starting school too early in the morning really can be detrimental to the health and mood of adolescents. Seriously though, there's no excuse for teen girls.
  • Rolling Stone's new health columnist: Ozzy Osbourne. Sad for everyone involved.
  • Sure, kids are picky eaters. But guess who else is, surprisingly? Adults. Childish adults.
  • Experts now suggest that the best way to tell whether a child is obese is to measure his or her neck circumference. Just line all the kids up and wrap their pudgy necks with measuring tape like so many loaves of bread in the hangman's noose. That's not embarrassing.
  • What's the best way to identify a gifted child? Probably by seeing how much smarter than your kid they are.
  • Researchers may have discovered some of the genes that lead to alopecia, a rapid loss of body hair. Yea. Mm hmm. The genes were the ones with bad combovers! Jay Leno, everyone!
[Pic: Flickr]