Pouty Bankers Cut Donations to Democrats Who Said Mean Things

America's irresponsible pill-popping step parents on Wall Street are breaking up with the Democrats, for being mean to them. See all of those donations they gave you during the 2008 cycle, Democrats? Well now they're going to Republicans, harumph!

Apparently executives of an economic sector that threw money around like a FarmVille addict with a $600 trillion credit limit and eventually destroyed the entire global economy expected the new Democratic majorities to say nice things about them all the time in public and pass no laws changing anything even slightly.

Democrats who backed the bill are finding big banks far less eager to host fundraisers and provide campaign cash heading into the tightly contested midterm elections this fall, insiders say.

Some banks, in fact, have discussed not attending or hosting fundraisers at all for the next few months. Goldman Sachs is already staying away from all fundraisers, according to two sources. The company would not comment.

"I think at least in the short term there is going to be a great deal of frustration with people who were beating the hell out of us - then turning around and asking for money," said a senior executive of a Wall Street bank.

More from the Washington Post, because this is too surreal:

Reasons for the plummeting donations include concern about the economic recovery and the personalities of the campaign committee leaders, Democratic experts say. But the overwhelming factor is the rising anger among financial executives who think they have not been treated well based on their support of Democrats over the past four years, according to lawmakers, party strategists and fundraisers. Several of the party's biggest New York donors declined through spokesmen to be interviewed. Some Democrats say pushing Wall Street reform is more important than any slippage in political donations.

Oh my god: "Some Democrats say pushing Wall Street reform is more important than any slippage in political donations." Those sure are some radical Democrats! Why aren't they willing to let banks make a clean escape from the biggest heist of all time when they could just take the bribe and save another five or six seats in one midterm House election?

It's funny for these banks to be anything but appreciative of the deal they got through their previous donations. Yes, a bill will pass, but unlike hypothetical bills that would pass under these circumstances in sane countries, this bill will not break up these fucking monstrosities, seize all of their money, and indefinitely detain their employees in Guantanamo Bay until we've "won the War on Assholes," which we we never will, which is the whole point.

Democrats should maybe consider running an ad or two saying, "Wall Street is giving all of its money to Republicans since Democrats stood up to them," because it would be really effective. Not perfectly true, but since the banks apparently do think this way, then it works.