Life May Suck, But It's Not Boring

The Way We Live Now: we're not quite sure. On the edge? Teetering? Pulling back? Rushing ahead? Set to fold? Broke and busted? On the mend? Opinions differ. Except, we know it's bad. Definitely bad.

The IMF issued an important new report. Do you know what it said? It said "U.S. should cut deficit to spur recovery." No, it said "U.S. recovery gathering strength but risks remain." No, it said "Joblessness, Housing Add Risks to U.S. Recovery." No, it said "U.S. on mend but job rate to stay high."

Headline writers of America, we beg you: please choose one consistent summary. Otherwise we would be forced to read an IMF report! In the middle of the day!

Our name is not "Donald Trump," and neither is yours (most of you). If that were our name, sure, we'll sit around on this plush golden sofa reading IMF reports until the cows come home, what do we care? But in the harsh grey light that blankets the real world, it becomes all too clear that our greatest get-rich-quick schemes are unlikely to pan out. Our $25 million sextortion plot was foiled by the authorities; our legalized gambling parlors simply cannot make money no matter how many millions of dollars we pay in consulting fees. When we look around the "table" that is planet Earth, we cannot spot the sucker; that, friends, means that we are the sucker.

Even we know that.

We are the poor bastards getting soaked by the cops who are trying to save their city's finances with traffic tickets. We are the poorer bastards who catch a life sentence after putting our finger in our pocket to rob a woman of $4. Sometimes we feel as if we can't go on. And then we remember: at least we're not sitting here, reading IMF reports, in the middle of the day.

That would be really boring.

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