Perez Hilton claims this song, entitled "Too Young to Die," is a leaked Lindsay Lohan track: "Crashing my car coming flying through the windshield... I'm oh I'm too young die." Where did this stunning display of tone-deafness come from?
The lyrics of "Too Young to Die" rattle off a horror movie montage of possible Lindsay Lohan deaths—"hit by a train," "falling from a building," "crashing my car"—as a metaphor for what "heartbreak from you would be like."
The song's brilliance comes from how radically inappropriate—and very likely fake—it is. As astute commenters noted during the "Britney Spears sings Lady Gaga" imbroglio, songwriters often have session vocalists imitate pop stars to help them sell the song. Perez writes that "Too Young to Die" was "written by Lolene and produced by J.R. Rotem," and perhaps it was. But that doesn't mean Lindsay sang it—though it's a good approximation of her signature raspy voice.
Lindsay's been game for painfully autobiographical music before, like 2005's "Confessions of a Broken Heart," a message from "daughter to father." In the music video, little sister Ali plays the traumatized child of physically abusive parents who look just like Michael and Dina. (Update: Thanks to Perouze for the factcheck.)
So, yes, "Too Young to Die" is within Lindsay's realm of ridiculosity. (She started a leggings company, for crying out loud.) Which is exactly why Lolene and Rotem may have made it for her, why Perez posted it, and why, as a rumor, "Too Young to Die" makes for tempting gallows humor. But could Lindsay have spent hours in a recording studio without tweeting about it and broadcasting it to every media outlet this side of the Arctic Circle? Without her daily phalanx of paparazzi following her there and photographing it?
Conclusion: If "Too Young to Die" isn't a straight-up spoof, then it's probably a pipe dream on its way to becoming a too-good-to-be-true internet myth. Expect Lindsay to tweet a denial in an hour or so. [PerezHilton]