Professional Pick-Up Artist Actually Marries a Hot Lady

Humans possessing vaginas, rejoice: Attraction Explained author Adam Lyons has married, which means there is one fewer "pickup artist" out there using asinine lines like "OK, when was the last time you went out in public without your underwear?"

In a New York Post feature by Gawker alumnus Sheila McClear, Adam and Amanda Lyons describe their epic romance: Amanda stumbled across Adam in a nightclub, where he was making out with her friend. As soon as he wiped the friend's spittle from his chin, Adam invited Amanda to play the role of his female prey at a seminar where he would demonstrate the art of seducing women. "Curious, she agreed—and by the time the workshop ended, Amanda was smitten, citing the mysterious power of chemistry." That is the single most depressing sentence I've read since, uh, these:

"I [no longer] need the validation of banging some hot blonde to see if I still can. It gets to a point where you've slept with so many different girls that it's not fun anymore," Adam says. "You do two [women] at once, three at once, four at once, and then you videotape it all, and then... Where's the challenge? It isn't there. And you realize that all of it's hollow."

I think the Post made a mistake with that first bracketed insertion. Doesn't the sentence make more sense without it? Anyway, Amanda the Challenging Wife is now Adam's business partner, which means she's enabling the use of cringeworthy pick-up artistry like this:

* Turn the conversation sexual ASAP. "For example," says Adam, "you might start by asking her: ‘What's the most dangerous thing you've ever done?' ‘What's the riskiest thing you've ever done?' ‘OK, when was the last time you went out in public without your underwear?' "

* Then initiate low-key physical contact like a light touch on the arm. "Suddenly, you're talking about sex, and they're like, ‘Shh, someone might hear!' So you take it into a corner, just the two of you. The next thing you know, you're talking about the darkest sexual fantasy you've never lived out."

Amanda Lyons, the female gender hereby revokes your membership. You can be an asexual fungus or something, next. [NYPost, image of Adam and Amanda at the beginning of their courtship via TCLounge]