John Fitzgerald Page is not only a horrible person who once tried to extort $1000 from a 19 year-old girl. He is also the world's cheapest person. Let's enjoy some tales of his absurd frugality!
John Fitzgerald Page is the Worst Person in the World, an "actor/model" and CEO of the Atlanta-based talent agency Modern Models. He recently sent a series of threatening emails to a 19 year-old girl after she revealed to a bunch of models that Modern Models is a scam. For example, Page regularly posts the names and pictures of talent who owe him commissions—as little as $12.80—on a "Deadbeats" page on Modern Model's website.
We spoke to one model—we'll call her Anna—who was once on the Wall of Deadbeats. Based on what she told us, that practice is the least ridiculous example of the pathetic cheapness with which Page runs his scam agency.
When Anna was represented by Page's agency, he took her to an upscale restaurant for breakfast:
[Page] had two coupons for a free breakfast at a very nice restaurant. But you could only use one coupon per party, so we went in separately and pretended like we didn't know each other. He made me eat at a different table, and then we had to text to let each other know when we were ready to go. It was ridiculous.
He took her back the next week, two more coupons in hand. But when he saw that the same hostess was working, they turned around. "He said, 'Well, I guess we can't eat breakfast today,'" Anna said.
Anna lives outside of Atlanta, and when she would come into the city for gigs, Page would let her stay at what she thought was his condo. He had a roommate, which Page told her was his "dogwalker": a functional alcoholic he let stay at his place because he felt bad for him. What a great guy! Except Page didn't own the condo. He was renting a room from his "dogwalker" roommate—actually a businessman who later kicked Page out after a falling-out.
One day, Anna gave Page a commission check that was five cents short. (She had written it while at a stop light.) "He said, 'Uh, Honey? You owe me a nickel. He actually had me give him a nickel." To celebrate the one-year anniversary of his agency, Page threw a party at the condo he was pretending to own. He supplied the alcohol: Cheap vodka, poured into Grey Goose bottles he had asked his roommate to save for the purpose.
Anna quit Modern Models a few weeks ago when Page put her on the Wall of Deadbeats after she didn't pay him a commission for a job he found posted by a real talent agency on Craigslist. (Page's business model is to take advantage of inexperienced models by "setting them up" with publicly-listed jobs they could have easily found themselves and charging them a 20% commission.)
Page wrote Anna a farewell email:
Anna, you have terrible skin, are short, and have health problems. You date a roofer and go to a state school, named after a city. You have a country quality that is very obvious to my upscale, city friends - you stick out like a sore thumb. You were one of the 5 least attractive girls in my agency, but you had a go getter attitude, which you survived on.
Anna ended up paying Page the $25.32 commission she owed him, and Page scammed her of about $50-$100 during her time with Modern Models. But, hey, at least she got to eat breakfast alone at the same restaurant as him that one time.