Here goes Whoopi Goldberg getting mad at bloggers for getting mad at her for defending crazy Cujo racist Mel Gibson. She makes some nuanced point about racism or whatever, but really the whole point is: Whoopi Goldberg knows celebrities!

Whoopi Goldberg knows so many celebrities and is a celebrity herself and thus Whoopi Goldberg always has a special insight into the lives of celebrities and, of course, a warmly burning empathy for them, no matter what. Remember when she defended Roman "Rape-Rape" Polanski? That was fun! Why did she do that? Oh, because Roman Polanski is a famous movie director who has won an Oscar. You know who else has won an Oscar? Whoopi Goldberg! Therefore, they are besties and all you bloggers and chip-eaters at home who don't know any famous people, not even one, don't know what you're talking about. If some unfamous Polish guy in her neighborhood drugged and raped an eighth grader and then completely got away with it, Whoopi Goldberg would have taken off her glasses and done one of those Keenan Thompson looks and been very mad. But a celebrity? It's a celebrity. How could Roman Polanski have done some fucked up shit but also made The Pianist? It is impossible!

And with the whole Mel Gibson thing, Whoopi is so into the fact that the dude has been to her house. If you have ever been to Whoopi Goldberg's house and were in Maverick, congratulations, you can never be racist. You get the Whoopi seal of approval. A different, non-celebrity drunken Australian talking about n-words r-wording white women? Awful. But not Mel, no sir. And yes, I realize that she is commenting about a friend and I do not know Mel Gibson the way that Whoopi Goldberg knows Mel Gibson. But I am sick of Whoops rushing to defend every egregious celebrity fuckup that comes sluicing over the news cycle.

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Whoopi: We get it! We are all very impressed that you are friends with famous people. Now kindly let us judge from a distance and go polish your EGOT.