Australian Penis Bottle Opener Cop Offered Job as New York BartenderS

The producers of Puppetry of the Penis, the Australian show that re-opened off-Broadway last night, want a new bartender: Andrew Lawrance, the Aussie cop who might get fired after opening a beer bottle with his penis piercing.

For those of you who haven't seen Puppetry of the Penis [NSFW] in one of its many trips to the U.S. over the past decade, it consists of men engaging in "genital origami," wherein they wind their private parts up into various and assorted shapes. Actually, this seems like a perfect fit for Lawrance, who could lose his job as a police officer for attaching a bottle opener to his penis piercing and opening a beer in front of a crowd of onlookers at a department Christmas party.

If he takes the job as the show's bartender, he'll get to pop open countless beers with his pecker every night, and actually get paid for it! The show's producer David Foster (which is Australian for "beer") says in a press release, "I hope he seriously considers our offer. As a fellow Australian, I think it's a disgrace we treat our burgeoning genital artists like common criminals. For his ingenuity, this man deserves a promotion, not a pink slip!" Here, here! We're just surprised the show beat Playgirl to the inevitable offer.

[Image via Daily Telegraph]