The Week We Slept With the EnemyS

Everyone was crazy and angry and getting engaged this week. Let's take a look at what went down.

Oh god, Mel Gibson. Mel Gibson has said so many awful things on the phone. Don't know what they are? Here, just click here to take a trip down horror lane.

Why is Mel Gibson so angry anyway? Maybe it is because summer TV sucks. Maybe it is because he heard these songs one too many times. Maybe he had too much coffee. Or maybe he just reads the same websites we do. (Though, he probably likes those websites.)

It seems like he needs a vacation. Perhaps he could retreat to the soothing wilds of Alaska. Although, those wilds are more roiling than soothing these days. What with the impending blessed publicity union of Princess Bristol Palin and her betrothed, Lord Levi Johnston. The two families are warring, and even the bridegroom himself has jumped into the fray. Terrible stuff! So forget that, Mel.

Oh, hey, maybe he could take a tour of presidential retreats of the Northeast? There's the Clinton's new home in Westchester, for example. (Is that where they'll have the big fancy wedding?) Or he could go to Maine with the Obamas. Or forget the presidents! He could check in on Steve Jobs in Hawaii.

Anyway, enough about Mel. Let's talk about some other things. Things like Facebook! Why is it so damn white? And why is its movie trailer so damn creepy? Well it's creepy because Facebook is a deeply troubled company. Deeply troubled by important lawsuits. Sick of hearing about Facebook's woes? Well, fine, read about Twitter's.

OK, weekly weird thing roundup. (This is what we do now.) A woman found her long-lost son on Facebook, then had underage sex with him, then got sentenced to 30 years in jail. Yay, everyone. Another woman has big boobs that might kill her. Other big things that can kill you? Minivans driven by people with horns. Speaking of people with horns, the Scientology demons hate Anderson Cooper. As they should.

OK, that's it! The week is over. Go escape to freedom.

Safe weekends, everyone.