Every ambitious young person in New York wishes to secure a position as an intern in the court of the city's benevolent philosopher-king, Michael of Bloomberg. But how can one get a City Hall internship? Simply follow our foolproof plan!
There is nothing more coveted in New York City than an internship at City Hall, unless you are homeless, in which case it is the second-most coveted thing for you, after a home. And like all coveted things, City Hall internships are very difficult to obtain. Just kidding! It's only difficult for total losers. Winners will find it easy, thanks to our reliable, easy, one-step method to securing the crown jewel on any young go-getter's resume/crown, based in part on this New York Times article. Are you ready?
The Gawker.com Foolproof, No-B.S., Guaranteed, One-Step Plan to Getting an Internship at City Hall
- Step 1. Be born to a family with extensive connections to New York's ruling class.
- Step 2. There is no Step 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It probably comes as a surprise to you, that nepotism is a factor in even in a city as meritocratic and transparent as Mayor Bloomberg's New York. But don't take our word for it! Listen to these testimonials about our method from former City Hall interns:
- Jacob Doctoroff, son of former Deputy Mayor and current Bloomberg LLP President Daniel Doctoroff: "It was either that or going to summer camp... I truthfully couldn't tell you how I got the internship."
- Luke Russert, son of late Meet the Press host Tim Russert: "Asked what role his connections played in landing the job, he said: 'I don't really know about that. I went through the application process like anyone else.'"
- Louisa Aviles, daughter of New York City Health and Hospitals Corporation president Alan Aviles: "'It had nothing to do with my dad,' she said, adding that her family ties only came up once, when her boss asked if she was Mr. Aviles's daughter."
- Alexander Blankfein, son of Goldman Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfein: "He declined to comment."
- The children of two unidentified New York Times employees: "The children of at least two employees of The Times have also had internships during the Bloomberg years."
[NYT; pic, of Mike proclaiming July 6 "The Sorcerer's Apprentice Day," via AP]