Breasts Are Nothing But Trouble, Says ScienceS

AIDS safety! Breast cancer bad and worse news! Doctors who share! Mastering the world of dreams! And horrible sad facts of life! It's your Tuesday Health Watch, where we watch your health—while living (for now)!

  • Scientist say they've found a vaginal gel that cuts a woman's chances of getting HIV in half. They're suggesting it for sub-Saharan African women with little access to reliable condoms, but don't rule it out for peanut butter sandwiches, either.
  • Oh great, turns out that diagnosing breast cancer is harder than everyone thought, and doctors even make errors about it, then they give you some crazy breast surgery, then they come back like "oops, mistake." Just another reason to trust prayer over science.
  • Also household cleaning products can give you breast cancer. Just another reason to not be stereotypical and "clean things," if you're a woman.
  • A pilot program is experimenting with giving patients electronic access to the notes that doctors write in their charts, in an effort to enhance collaborative care and prevent errors. It's all well and good until you find out you were diagnosed: Ugly.
  • Have you ever thought to yourself, "I wish I could tame my nightmares, so that I could mentally navigate the wondrous world of my dreams at will, playing out each and every fantasy as I rule the most important domain of all: my own mind"? No? We were gonna tell you how to do it, but forget it.
  • Thinking about having weight loss surgery? If you do, just know: it can make you all fucked up. Just know that.
  • A new study finds that war veterans can have seizures decades after receiving brain injuries in combat. That is just awful.