Lindsay Lohan Scores Drugs in Jail, And Other Heartwarming StoriesS

After strip and cavity searches, LiLo is in jail—and all the inmates love her! Snooki contemplates her co-stars' jealousies. Jill Zarin dips a toe into politics. Wednesday gossip is cold at first, but it warms up fast.

  • After strip and cavity searches, Lindsay Lohan arrived at jail in tears yesterday, but smiled when her fellow jailbirds cheered her on: "We all cheered when we saw her and saided we loved her," said one jailbird. "We all started saying 'God bless you Lindsay,' and saying 'Hi' to her, and then she smiled at us." And it was like a beam of light had shone into the prison of their agony! And lo, they were saved! Seriously, where are the scary girl gangs and jailhouse intimidation everyone was talking about? This sounds more like a sorority house slumber party. Anyway, LiLo's booking sheet says she's is 5'6" and 118 lbs, and the jailhouse pharmacist already filled LiLo's Adderall and Ambien prescriptions. If it were me, I'd skip the Adderrall (who needs focus in jail?) and guard the sleeping pills with my life. One familiar face awaits LiLo in jail: Alexis Neiers, the 19-year-old Pretty Wild star who tried to rob her house, is in Lindsay's "pod" at Lynwood and occupies Paris Hilton's old cell. Someone should start selling star maps to Lynwood's lock-up. [DailyMail, TMZ, People, E!, image via Getty]

  • Meanwhile, Lindsay has already had her first jailhouse visitor: Shawn Chapman Holley, her lawyer, dropped by yesterday. [E!]

  • Lindsay Lohan Scores Drugs in Jail, And Other Heartwarming StoriesBritney Spears' weave of terror has reached Threat Level Orange. [AmyGrindhouse]

  • Now that the hierachy of Jersey Shore's break-out stars is clear, Snooki says jealousy courses through the Jaegerbomb-soaked veins of the Garden State's finest: "I know the others want the same opportunities that Mike [the Situation] and I get, but we don't control those things... I can understand why the others might be jealous. They aren't doing anything, but they should still be happy for me." She notes, however, that "myself, Paul, Vinny, and Jenni [J-Woww] we've all stayed the same... it hasn't gotten to our heads," conspicuously leaving out the Situation! [Steppin' Out via Us]

  • P. Diddy on the maintenance of beauty: "Lotion, it's important, man. And I've been guilty of some ashy elbows." True that. [P6]

  • Rapper Fabolous nearly had a Hemingway-losing-his-manuscript-on-a-train moment when he left his Blackberry at a steakhouse. When a waiter rain out to give it to him, he said he'd been writing rhymes. Basically, Fabolous' next album will be Hemingway's lost novel, rising from the ashes of loss. [P6]

  • Jesse James won two legal battles yesterday: A custody one (ragamuffin child Sunny James has been OK'ed for a move to Texas. Howdy, Sunny!) and a civil one with a fashion company. [TMZ, TMZ]

  • The Bachelor's Jake Pavelka is holding estranged wife Vienna Girardi's cellphone number "hostage." This is why you should always keep a pay-as-you-go stashed in the bedside drawer, ladies. [Radar]

  • House's deposed assistant prop master has launched a workplace harassment suit claiming everyone was having coke-fueled orgies in their trailers, that his boss brought a gun to work, and that the staff once had a tequila-fueled knife-throwing contest. Tequila strikes me as a poor choice of knife-throwing fuel. [TMZ]

  • Gov. Charlie Crist stayed at Real Housewife Jill Zarin's house in the Hamptons. Hey, quit mixing genres. It's like when you're a kid, and the mashed potatoes touch the spinach, and suddenly you cannot bear to consume anything on the plate, at all. [P6]

  • Heroes star Ali Larter is pregnant. This will be her first child with writer/actor husband Hayes MacArthur. Mazel tov! [People]