Bedbugs Are Going to Destroy Us AllS

We will not be copacetic! The bedbug menace grows and grows every day, infesting various halls of industry and power. Their latest assault is on the written word. Yes, bed bugs have invaded publishing.

Specifically the offices of Hachette Book Group at 237 Park Avenue. They are closing their offices today and tomorrow to do some spraying. So I guess that's the silver lining: long weekend! Of course the rest of the lining is that if you work on the three affected floors of Hachette, the bedbugs now live in all your lining and you have taken them home and you will live in a blood-sucked hell for the rest of your New York life.

I believe it was a commenter or someone who wondered if bedbugs are going to become as commonplace as mice or ants or cockroaches. Let's hope not. Imagine a dystopian future where New York City has been abandoned, left to the blood-sucking vermin, empty buildings full of dead or dying bedbugs, cars left sitting in the middle of Broadway, a dessicated corpse slumped against a lamppost. And then a single man, walking downtown from the North. A lone crusader. It is Will Smith, wrapped in plastic, doing his laundry for like the sixth time that day.

We must change this future. No fate.

[NY Mag, Image: Shutterstock]