Glee to Go All Transsexual Transvestite On UsS

They're doing it. Family values will forever be destroyed. Also today: Daniel Craig will be Dragon Tattooing, the Avengers movie might have its Wasp (it's not Joan Allen), and Julie Taymor will go big or go home in Venice.

Daniel Craig, a mountain ram who had his horns removed and was shipped off to Hollywood, has been cast as a lead in the upcoming English-language Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, the first in a trilogy of movies based on the book series that has kept airport book stores like Hudson News in business for the past few years. I haven't read the books so I don't know what exact character he'll play, but I'm guessing it's the journalist guy? Everyone says the books are gritty, and Craig can be tough and gritty, so I'm going to declare, without any knowledge of anything ever, that this is good casting. I trust you'll agree. I can't wait to see who they cast as the talking dragon tattoo! I'm hoping for Eddie Murphy. There is a talking dragon tattoo, right? [THR]

Mainstream, totally boring director Julie Taymor will premiere her latest film, a version of The Tempest with Helen Mirren as a lady Prospero, at the Venice Film Festival. Hers will be the closing night entry. Other than Mirren, the cast includes Djimon Hounsou, David Strathairn, Chris Cooper, Alan Cumming, Alfred Molina, and Ben Whishaw. So really a bunch of unproven slouches. At least Russell Brand is there to class up the joint. Friends (i.e. Brian Moylan) who have seen this say it's interesting but that the aesthetic is surprisingly drab. So who knows. Could be another Titus, or could be another... Titus. [Variety]

Gurgle. Susan Sarandon is the latest person to join the cast of HBO's theater orgasm of a pilot, Miraculous Year. She'll play the director/choreographer of a new Broadway show composed by the series' main character. There are so many theater people in this thing that it's enough to make all of Hell's Kitchen explode. Please, HBO. Please pick this up. Lee Pace plays the lead's lover. As in, they gay. Hope Davis is in it. Karine Plantadit from Come Fly Away plays a dancer. Stark Sands. Patti Lupone. Please HBO. You need to. Do it for us. Just do it, please. Think of it as the high-brow Glee! People (or, ok, person) would love that! [Deadline]

Speaking of Glee, Ryan Murphy announced at Comic Con (yes, because it makes so much sense that there was a Glee panel at Comic Con, because of all the things it has in common with sci-fi and comic books and stuff, well done Comic Con, well done Glee, well done everyone) that there will be a Rocky Horror Show-themed episode. Which is cool. The themed episodes are kinda geigh, but if they have to do a themed episode, this is a really good one. Please let Finn do a mascara-streaked "I'm Going Home." That would be wonderful. Or, yeah, whatever, Kurt could do it too. Or best yet, Puck. There you go. Pucks as a sweet transvestite from transsexual Transylvania. Perfect. [THR]

This Avengers movie just keeps getting more cast members! Now there's a rumor that Eva Longoria-Parker may have been offered the part of The Wasp, a lesser-known superheroine who has wings and shoots energy out of her hands (shouldn't it be out of her butt?) and is married to Ant-Man, to be played by Nathan Fillion in the overstuffed movie. The real saving grace of this whole thing is that Joss Whedon is behind it. Hopefully that means this will be chock full 'a fun, instead of chock full 'a what the hell is going on. He hasn't steered us wrong yet! Though, Eva Longoria-Parker is a slight turn toward the wrong direction. [Fox]

Hm. Amanda Bynes has 'unretired' from acting. This can mean only one thing right? She's been cast as Lisbeth Salander in The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. That must be it. Congratulations, Amanda. You heard it hear first, guys: Amanda Bynes Cast as Lisbeth Salander in The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. Google Reader that, Bynes! [EW] [Ed. Note: Heh. Adrian already got this over the weekend it seems. Sorry!]

Perpetual television guest star Patrick J. Adams will be joined by The Spirit oddity Gabriel Macht in a new series called A Legal Mind, about "a brilliant but unmotivated college student (Adams) who gets recruited by a Harvey Specter (Macht), a lawyer at top Manhattan corporate law firm despite not having a law degree. He has to use his book and street smarts and hustling skills to keep the charade." Hm. Let's play guess the network. Brilliant-but-unmotivated (read: slacker). "Despite not having a law degree". "Street smarts". "Hustling skills". Snarky white boy. C'mon. Guess the network. This one's easy. [Deadline]

The Shakespeare in the Park production of Merchant of Venice currently playing to sold-out (given-out-out?) audiences at the Delacorte will be headed to Broadway for a limited run in October. This time, you'll have to pay. [Playbill]