Here's a teaser trailer for Zack Snyder's latest green screen opus, Sucker Punch, a vaguely retro tits 'n' targets action movie starring a bevvy of fresh-faced wood nymphs. Why it's little Jena Malone, and Jamie from The Real World!

I'm curious about the steampunk aesthetic and the interesting cast — squeaky High School Musical kewpie Vanessa Hudgens shootin' guns and takin' names?? — but I'm a little disappointed that the whole thing seems so far over the top. Sure a lot of it takes place in fantasy — Lemony Snicket's Emily Browning plays an orphan who comes up with elaborate imagined schemes to break out of her cruel and sinister orphanage — but giant robots and samurais and biplanes all in the same movie? Too much, Mr. Snyder! Too much.

Hopefully the project will at least be a rebound from Snyder's dreary and boring Watchmen debacle. Personally I wish that Snyder would go past his 300 heyday and return all the way to the real-world promise he showed in his zippy, clever, and ultimately terrifying Dawn of the Dead remake. That had actors on actual physical sets and stuff. There was even some location shooting! Pushing the boundaries of what worlds you can create on film is an interesting enough endeavor, but when not done completely right, the synthetic stuff tends to suck all the soul and tape-and-glue panache out of cobbling together a picture. I don't mind seeing the strings sometimes! I wish talented visualists (if not terribly capable storytellers) like Snyder didn't try to hide them from us all the time.


So this could either be a sexy, eye-popping, fun night at the cineplex, or just another messy, overstuffed CGI scramble that leaves everyone feeling exhausted and empty. Let's hope it's the former.