California Senator Barbara Boxer and former Hewlett Packard CEO Carly Fiorina are battling over Boxer's Senate seat. But that's secondary to a more important question—one that an actual, reputable polling firm just asked Californians: Who has better hair?
Have you been paying any attention to the California Senate race? You should be! If you enjoy hating the world. Carly Fiorina, who used to be the terrible CEO of Hewlett Packard, until she was forced out, has decided to run for Senate as a Republican, based on her extensive lack of political experience and longtime commitment to not voting in any elections. The incumbent, Democrat Barbara Boxer is vaguely unpopular in California, due to Californians hating just about everything right now, and Fiorina has (had?) a chance to pull it out, after dispatching her primary opponent with a campaign ad featuring, I shit you not, demon sheep.
Anyway. Last month, as part of her campaign strategy to appear as childish and embarrassing as possible, Fiorina called Barbara Boxer's hair "so yesterday." I guess she meant it is old? Or old-fashioned, or something? Obviously, it was a trenchant comment.
And, obviously, we needed a poll about it. And it's more bad news for Carly: According to the Democratic polling firm Public Policy Polling, 19 percent of registered voters have a higher opinion of Barbara Boxer's hair, while only 14 percent have a higher opinion of Fiorina's (67 percent were "not sure," which just goes to show you how politically illiterate people are). Shall we check the crosstabs? I think we shall.
- Young people preferred Barbara Boxer's hair by a wide margin, possibly casting into doubt Fiorina's contention that it is "so yesterday." 26 percent of registered voters between the ages of 18 and 36 had a higher opinion of Boxer's hair, while only three percent had a higher opinion of Fiorina's.
- Registered voters between the ages of 30 and 45 were split (ends!) over the hair question, with 21 percent having a higher opinion of Boxer's and 19 percent having a higher opinion of Fiorina's.
- Barbara Boxer's hair scored particularly well among Asians and Hispanics. 29 percent of Asian registered voters and 22 percent of Hispanic registered voters preferred it to Fiorina's.
- African-Americans were the only ethnic group that had a higher opinion of Fiorina's hair: 20 percent of African-American registered voters chose Fiorina's hair over Boxer's.
- Moderate voters—the key in any election—preferred Boxer's hair. Twenty-five percent of moderate voters had a higher opinion of Boxer's hair, while only 12 percent had a higher opinion of Fiorina's.
Oh, and also, uh, Boxer led Fiorina in the polls, 49 percent to 40 percent. But whatever.