If You Aren't Sweating Then You Might as Well Be Dying

Plus-size madness! Dorky yogis! Socializing for health! Dangerous bats! Unhealthy vegans! And hardcore hotness! It's your Thursday Fitness Watch, where we watch your fitness—while staying hydrated!

  • Well, what can one say about this lengthy NYT Magazine story about the "Plus-Size Wars?" I can't say much because I only read the first page (this is a round-up post), but look at this: "the average [American] woman weighs 164.7 pounds." Ladies, this is fine as long as you can squat and deadlift your own body weight.

  • There is a blog called YogaDork that is described as "the Gawker.com for yogis." Erroneous. The Gawker.com for yogis is the Gawker Fitness Watch column. Six of its eight readers are bears.

  • Studies show that having a good social life is just as beneficial to your health as exercise and proper diet. So don't just go to the gym and work out in silence, then go home alone; go to the gym, work out in silence, and then on the way out knock a few people over the head, toss em in the trunk, and take them back to your place, where you will arrange their groggy bodies around a table in an elaborate "tea party" scene playing out only in your own imagination.
  • The big debate now is, should kids play baseball with metal bats, even though metal bats hit baseballs so fast that they might hit you in the head and break your head? No. Kids should play Chutes 'n Ladders.

  • Think that you're healthy just because you're a "vegan" who doesn't eat the flesh of baby deers? You foolish, foolish person. Potato chips are vegan. So are PCBs.

  • Some people don't like to work out in the hot life-threatening heat, but you know who does like to do that? Hardcore people. And they get the attention. Cause hardcore is hot. You know? Yea.

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