Michael Reagan Now Hawking 'Reagan.com' Email Addresses

Since the dawn of electronics, patriotic conservatives have longed to possess email addresses under the domain "Reagan.com." At long last, Ronald Reagan's eldest son, Michael, has made these addresses available... for $34.95 a year. Because "free" services are liberal.

How does Michael Reagan justify charging 35 bucks for email addresses, which are known to be very free on the Internet nowadays? Well, most of those free web-based email companies give money to liberals, like Nancy Pelosi and the traitor Barack Obama! This is literally the reasoning behind his scam:

"People who believe in true Reagan Conservative Values are unwittingly supporting the Obama, Pelosi and Reid liberal agenda! What do I mean? Well, every time you use your email from companies like Google, AOL, Yahoo, Hotmail, Apple and others, you are helping the liberals. These companies are, and will continue, to be huge supporters financially and with technology of those that are hurting our country."

"Is that where you want your money to go? I didn't so I changed things," he continues. "I came up with the very first conservative email service provider. You now can put your name next to the name of the Greatest Conservative of all, my father Ronald Reagan."

He's going to make a fortune. Why didn't we think of this shit earlier?

Oh, and the price will go up in a couple of days. But you'll get a free DVD of a famous Reagan speech! It's probably available for free on YouTube, but remember: all that YouTube money is liberal! (Note which extremely popular video-hosting site is not employed for Reagan's pitch below.)

It must be very tiring and expensive to be a Michael Reagan fan, having to dodge the Internet's liberal cash cows all day.