The Way We Live Now: slowing down. Taking it easy. Why get so hung up on "economic growth?" Why not sit back on the yacht, counting our vast fortune obtained through professional sports or financial shenanigans? Doesn't that sound better?

Okay, so, economic growth is slowing, the employment outlook is grim, everyone's hunkering down for another stretch of hard times. Provocative question: why???????????? Allow us to suggest an alternative route I think you might enjoy a little bit more, if you know what I mean (that you will like it better).

Sitting around and worrying about how you'll pay your bills? Forget it! Get up off the couch and practice some baseball, then get a contract with the Texas Rangers. Then, when they start messing with your money, do a bunch of legal maneuvering to protect that $25 million they owe you. Don't let them off the hook.

Advertisement

That's money in the bank!

This is better, right? Next, never pay taxes on your $7 million yacht. Fuck that. More money saved, boom. Then, stop giving tenure to so many public school teachers. They need that why? Good. Done.

Pension payments saved are untraceable slush funds earned!

We're just spitballing here, to show you how easy it is to CHANGE YOUR LIFE, econometrically. It's just like an improve exercise. You toss out, okay, okay, let's see....How to buck up the failing American auto industry? And I'm like BOOM, just declare the auto bailout a success, without talking about too many numbers. Shit is easy. Now you go.