Science: You'll Never Get Laid If You Keep TalkingS

All these "online dating sites" are quite valuable for research purposes, according to scientists who were found hastily closing their AshleyMadison.com tabs. The most valuable finding of all: shut up, already.

Look, it's a long list of moderately interesting findings that researchers have gleaned by studying online dating data! Example: women are "twice as likely as men to specify that they're seeking someone of their own ethnicity."

Why are women so racist?

But the one piece of advice that we all can take to heart, whether online, among friends, or when talking to some racist woman you really want to like you: shut the fuck up.

Of all the new findings, among the most interesting is this: Less is more...That's because when people exchange a lot of information, they find more reasons to believe that they're very different, researchers say.

Say nothing; allow the delusional hopes and dreams of others to be projected upon you as they would a blank screen; reap the benefits. A simple formula for success.*

*Only works if you're good-looking.

[Mercury News via Pat's Papers. Pic: Shutterstock]