No One Knows How Deadly Froot Loops AreS

If you're like me, you may have just *assumed* that if a chemical is being manufactured in large quantities and placed in your breakfast cereal, there would be *some* evidence that it will not kill you. Not true at all!

In today's most toe-numbingly terrifying story, the Washington Post details exactly how much the EPA knows about the laundry list of unpronounceable chemicals that go into the average modern packaged food product: nothing. Not a damn thing. I'd just kind of thought there must be some sort of process, you know, for dumping oddly-named synthetic chemicals into our Froot Loops, but, haha, I was quite naive.

Case in point: Kelloggs recalled tons of breakfast cereals recently because of a "strange odor." Turns out it was due to high levels of 2-methylnaphthalene. Which is... ????

In 1994, the EPA invited the chemical industry to submit health and safety data for 2-methylnaphthalene because it was being produced in large quantities, said Mary F. Dominiak of the EPA. Chemical manufacturers have yet to disclose that information, she said.

Don't worry, though; a government agency says that you'll only be exposed to 2-methylnaphthalene ""if you live near a hazardous waste site."

Might Froot Loops be unhealthy for another reason?

[Read this full story immediately, then go throw up]