Mother Nature Is Coming to Reclaim All Her Golf CoursesS

The Way We Live Now: burning the ruling class's cherished symbols to the ground and salting the earth behind us. Why not? If we're gonna die from high salt diets, we might as well die while destroying a golf course.

Golf clubs are suffering during this recession. Oh well, boo hoo, so sad, so bad, maybe we should just put the peasants to work smashing boulders to make pebbles for your "Pebble Beach," hmm? Is that what you want? Maybe have some Third World children dive to the bottom of the pesticide lake for your golf balls, sir? You like that?

Golf is so wack.

And you know what everyone is doing instead of joining the country club, right? They're sitting at home tending their hernias because their 99 weeks of unemployment benefits are just about up, and of course there are no jobs to be had, unless you're a brand new mom who wants nothing more than to stay home with your newborn child, in which case, you can be sure, you'll have to work.

Yes, it "still feels like a recession," but that's just your imagination. It's actually much worse than that. While we beat golf clubs into scythes for head-cutting, Red Russia's might plutocrats are squabbling over who gets to corner the world's nickel supply. Like Jefferson on your nickels? Sorry, Charlie; a man by the name of Joe Stalin will be popping up in your pocket change any day now, the way things are going.

If only we could get our hands on some of that gold. It's so pretty! What were saying? Ah yes. Eat the rich and bury them on the putting greens. Etc., and etc.

[Pic via]