Here's a trailer for Burlesque, the Christina Aguilera/Cher girl-with-big-city-and-bright-lights dreams movie that, to some, seemed like the advent of a new gay Christmas. Well, Christmas is canceled this year, kids.

Judging from this early trailer, at least. Here we have your typical Ugly Showcoyotes movie about the bumbling small towner (Aguilera) who gets a menial job with a stern taskmaster (Cher) but has secret dreams of taking the stage and making it big one day. Romance (with either a be-eyelinered dude from the first Twilight movie or Dr. McSteamdream) ensues and then, of course, there's the big star-making moment. Cher says Wait, this kid's got something... or some line to that effect, Stanley Tucci raises a sarcastic eyebrow, and the nice bartender sighs while the slightly jerkier flashier guy grins and thinks of dollar signs.

These are just guesses! But it looks unlikely that the movie, which doesn't really seem to be about burlesque as it does about a strange, anachronistic cabaret revue club, will stray too far from that tired formula. Aguilera's acting seems thin at best and poor Cher... well, let's just say I didn't find her performance in this brief trailer terribly moving. This could end up being some sort of camp amusement, the way Showgirls is and the way Coyote Ugly should be but isn't, and I think that's the most it can hope for at this point.

Either way, pack up the pink tinsel, Gideon. Just take it all down.