A California judge ruled yesterday that preventing gays from getting married is unconstitutional. But nothing in Cali matters until a celebrity does it! Here are the brides-and-brides and grooms-and-grooms we'd like to see exercising their new right to wed.
Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka: NPH is the poster boy for gay actors in Hollywood. He's gotten even more popular since coming out, and he's done it even though he's been cast as a straight man in nearly all of his roles. He's achieved professional equality, so he should take advantage of social equality by marrying his long-time actor partner. The mother of every gay will ooh and ahh and say, "Why can't you be more like that Neil Patrick Harris and settle down with a guy like him." Damn you, NPH!
Queen Latifah and Jeanette Jenkins: It's no big secret that Latifah has been in a relationship with her "personal trainer" for quite some time. The two even own a house (and apparently some dogs) together. We hope they plan a big affair, invite People, and do the whole celebrity wedding media blitz. After all, if we see pictures of her kissing her bride, she won't even have to come out!
Rosie O'Donnell and Tracy Kachtick-Anders: Now that gays and lesbians are allowed to get married like straight people, it's important to show people that the LGBT community can do marriage just like straights do. What does that mean? We need a celebrity to engage in serial marriage. Since Melissa Etheridge only wed one of her exes and isn't in a new relationship, it falls to Rosie to rack up a string of divorces, just like Elizabeth Taylor did. O'Donnell married Kelli Carpenter in San Francisco in 2004, but they broke up late last year right before O'Donnell started dating Tracy, the Texas artist who will be known as O'Donnell's second wife in her obituary. We hope there's many more to come.
Sara Gilbert and Allison Adler: The former Roseanne star just officially came out even though everyone knew she and her television producer partner had been together since 2002. They have two children together, so it's time they make honest women out of each other. Gilbert can even talk about planning the nuptials on the upcoming View-esque talk show she's producing. Ladies love nothing more than gabbing about wedding details!
David Geffen and Jeremy Lingvall: Since the Salahis are still in the news, we'll assume that the billionaire entertainment mogul and the hot, 26-year-old boyfriend he took to Obama's state dinner in November are still together. And if they are, it's time to seal the deal. Geffen may have everything, but he should know that it's nothing unless he marries some beautiful chippie when he's middle-aged. Every straight mogul does it, and now David can too! Jeremy, just demand a lot in the prenup. Those abs are worth it!
Anderson Cooper and Benjamin Maisani: You thought we forgot about these two crazy kids, didn't ya? Gay marriage isn't legal in New York where the couple lives and belongs (Coop's a Vanderbilt, after all!) but New York does recognize same-sex marriages performed in other states. They're clearly in love. (Ben introduced Andy to the family.) And the pair have been out in public—and publicly outed—enough by now that they should just go ahead and make it official. Andy: Please take Ben to San Fran's city hall and sign on the dotted line. We'd love to stop teasing you about being in the closet. And Page Six can finally stop writing around your relationship and call Ben what he is: your husband!