Scientists Will Not Stop Until We're All Lizard Monsters

Monster making! Russian warming! Frog mountains! Bat extinction! Multiple sclerosis! Hurricane season! Quantum entanglement! Pet meds! And Polish geologists! It's your Friday Science Watch, where we watch your science—while screwing in a light bulb, all alone!

  • What is the latest way that scientists are trying to make monsters, which seems like their main job? The answer is "regeneration," which means that scientists are trying to make it so if I cut your arm off then poof, you grow your arm right back. Why are scientists trying to rob us of our swordfighting advantage? Humans are not lizards, sir. Sir.
  • Oh sure, now even the Russians are warning of climate change. Is there anything that communists will not steal from liberals, and vice versa?
  • By analyzing the genetics of spiny frogs, scientists have been able to extrapolate the sequence in which various Himalayan mountain ranges arose, isolating particular frog groups. Or that's what they tell their parents they're doing, at least.
  • According to a recent email to Gawker HQ from an earnest tipster, "Bats facing regional extinction in the northeast from rapidly spreading disease, UCSC researcher finds" [LINK]. Consider this.
  • That theory you had about multiple sclerosis? Not even close.
  • If you thought hurricane season was going to be nice and quiet this year, well, I guess that's why you're not employed by the National Weather Service. Sure, you're good at other things.
  • A team of Harvard physicists has successfully created a quantum entanglement of photons and solid-state materials, marking the first demonstration of qubits communicating with one another over long distances. That is so fucked up.
  • One vet's view: "Pet medications don't have to be a bitter pill." Haha, get it? That's a lie, though, the bitterness is a crucial element of the medications.
  • Geologists in Poland recently discovered a layer of Permafrost dating to the last Ice Age. Yea. Mmm hmm. The only problem is, they were just trying to find where they'd buried their lunch! Jay Leno, ladies and gentlemen!
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