The worst part about Project Runway is the first few episodes when the cast is still littered with bad designers. At least they have the decency to create some drama before getting kicked out!
So the challenge last night was to design an outfit that would be used on a billboard advertising Marie Claire in Times Square so that sweaty ladies from Florida will see it and then maybe pick up a copy from the Hudson News while they wait for their delayed flight back to Tampa. Easy enough. Here are the:
Things We Hated:
- Sponsor Challenges: We know that Project Runway has to pay the bills, but it seems like there are more and more challenges each season that are designed to put the spotlight on one of the sponsors. Did we really need the second challenge (really the first one, since the show is still saying that last week like "didn't count" or something) to be already hawking for Marie Claire?
- Up on the Roof: As at the beginning of every season, Heidi and Tim brought all the designers up on the roof. Usually there is champagne and introductions and general merriment. You know, a party! This year, none of that. They just announce the challenge. What a gyp.
- AJ: This queen works my last nerve. First he was dressed as Thurston Howell III from Gilligan's Island and then he cried when he wasn't eliminated. And his dress sucked. He's barely had any camera time and we already want to send him on a three-hour tour and hope he never comes back.
- Hair and Makeup: Now that PR is 90 minutes we have more time for...hair and makeup preparation? Really, we could care less than to see the "styling" of the models, but this was probably an important selling point for the damn sponsors.
- No Immunity: I hate it when they're all like, "this challenge is so awesome, there will be no immunity." Either give each week's winner immunity the next week or don't. Don't just decide arbitrarily that some victories aren't worth it. After all, Marie Claire is getting more benefit out of the billboard than the designer will! At least give them a fucking pass for next week.
- "Carrie Bradshaw meets Samantha Jones": Valerie described her dress that way as a positive. We can just hear Queen Tangerine saying the same thing with her tone and having it be like a wilting insult. "It's like Carrie Bradshaw meets Samantha Jones!"
- Jason: Who is this Jason character with his stupid infinity dress and safety pins on his outfits and his affected headwear and his poofy hair and his whining about no one understanding him? It's like they took that vaguely psychopathic kid from your sophomore year in high school and put him on reality television. And then he has to always prove that he's straight. To make it even worse, he has really stupid concepts for dresses. "It's like an 8 for season 8 of Project Runway." What is he going to make next? A dress that looks like an airport for Project Runway. You know, it has a runway! Then he left without saying goodbye to Tim or the other designers. What an asshole! It was probably because he was about to cry and you can't cry in front of people because that's gay. God, I'm so glad this kid is gone.
- That God-Damned Cape: Did Nicholas really think that his stupid circle cape was worth putting on the model? It's was like she was wearing a plum poncho to escape the rain at a football game or something. Send him packing too!
Things We Loved:
- Mondo: Oh, Mondo, you cute, quiet, misunderstood, brooding little gay elf. You are so sweet and quirky and socially awkward that I just want to give you a big ol' hug, put on a Björk CD, and tell you that everything is going to be OK. Of course he pulled out an amazing look last night (my favorite of the evening). Now he just needs to make a friend.
- Peach Knows She Sucks: Little Princess Peach is firmly cognizant of the fact that her dresses are boring and she is destined to be cut soon. Unlike the other designers who must delude themselves into thinking their creations are great, Peach is just, "My dress sucks, I'm going home." It's a refreshingly self-aware perspective.
- The Photo Shoot: Along with their dress, each designer had to do a photo shoot with their model to show the judges what their garment would like like on film. This is a good use of the extra time in the new format. We always see the dresses walking down the runway, but never how they'll photograph. This is an important thing for designers to learn, and something they'll have to consider for future advertising and marketing campaigns when they launch their own label (yeah, like that will happen!).
- The Stew Room: Another great use of the extra time was the designers who were "safe" talking about which of the six designers still on the runway were the best and the worst. More shit talking, please!
- Nina Garcia Fashion Director of Marie Claire Magazine Hates Her Boss: Joanna Coles, the editor-in-chief of Marie Claire and last night's guest judge, says that she and NGFDMCM both agreed that Mondo's outfit was cute and that was the first time "we've ever agreed on anything." Oh, I can just picture the epic battles these two bitches must have. "Joanna, she doesn't need those earrings." "Yes, she does, Nina. Don't tell me what to do." "With those earrings she looks like a cheap hooker from Guadalajara. Take them off." "I'm going to fire you, you uptight bitch." "Go ahead and try. Who else is going to be on reality television?"
- Double Elimination: They always threaten that they are going to do it and finally they sent two people home without warning. Really, they both should have been cut after last week and they were clearly over their heads in this competition, so let's just get them out of the way. I always say that the show would be more interesting if they did a massive culling of the dead weight at the beginning of the season. Glad someone finally listened.
So, in the end Gretchen's beautiful navy jumpsuit took home the top prize and supermodel Coco Crispies modeled it on a big billboard. It was wonderful. Gretchen is quite good, but that Vogue girl is making me hate her. She's so nice and pretty and talented. What is wrong with you, Gretchen. Give us something to make fun of. Please!
Both stupid Jason and stupid Nicholas justifiably went home. There were a bunch of ugly and boring outfits but there are still too many to even get into it. Let's encourage them to execute three designers next week, shall we?