If You Were a Loser in the First Grade, You'll Be a Loser ForeverS

Are you currently manically brushing your hair, plastering a smile on your face and saying that today is going to be better, today you're going to be a whole new person? Well, too bad. Science says you'll never change.

Yes, according to a new study ("studies" being always accurate, forever), major personality traits exhibited in people in first grade tend to stick with them for the long haul:

The researchers examined data from a 1960s study of 2,400 first- to sixth-graders who were ethnically diverse. They compared how their teachers rated their personalities with videotaped interviews of some 144 of these people 40 years later.

They found that as adults, the talkative youngsters were interested in intellectual subjects, were controlling, spoke well and had a high degree of intelligence. Children who'd been rated as highly adaptable were cheerful as middle-aged adults, and those who ranked low in adaptability as kids tended to speak negatively about themselves as adults and to display an awkward style when dealing with others.

So... that's basically that! Don't bother trying to get new clothes or take those improv classes down at the adult ed center. If you were unable to deal with new things when you were six, you will be the same awkward loner until the day you die, alone, and only your elderly mother and the nice lady from the IHOP who waits on you every sad, rainy Tuesday night will be at your funeral. Meanwhile, the smart, sociable kids are still doing great.

Sorry, that's just science.