Lonely Jennifer Aniston Begs Her Way Into Another Man's Life

She's shameless!! Also today: Keep Marcia Gay Harden away from your kids, some great news about the death of an HBO show, and news of man of the moment Will Ferrell.

Marcia Gay Harden has signed on to star in the movie adaptation of Someday This Pain Will Be Useful to You, a YA book about a kid whose mom (Harden) owns an art gallery where he goes to work and becomes attracted to one of the employees. A male employee. So basically, Marcia Gay Harden is advocating teenage gayness, America. Marcia Gay Harden is the Kevin Jennings of Hollywood. How dare she. Just how dare she. And she was in that lovely film Mona Lisa Smile about a woman's true place in the civilized social white world. You think you know an actress and then the next thing you know she's handing out fisting manuals to eighth graders. Just despicable. Horrible. Fisting. Fisting. Fissssting. Horrible, filthy, dirty fisting... Sorry, what was I saying? Oh yes, depravity and moral outrage! [Variety]

Ah me. Poor Jennifer Aniston, lonely millionairess, the tanned Havisham of the Hollywood Hills, has latched herself on to yet another unavailable man. This time the sad creature has taken a fancy to Jason Bateman, a married man with children. "Oh Jason," she says, head lolling, a gloopy smile belying the infinite heartbreaks bursting like fireworks inside of her. "Can you put me in your Arrested Development movie?" she asks, taking a gulp of wine from an enormous glass. Jason laughs, looks down. "Uh... sure, uh, yeah. Are you a fan of the show?" Jennifer closes her eyes, takes a wobbly pull of her cigarette. "Ohhh, yeah... sure. I'm a fan of... the show." Jason can feel her feet searching for his leg under the table. He clears his throat, noisily pushes back his chair. "Well, I ought to be going." Jen nods. "Mm. Mm. You ought to beee. They alllll ought to be going. Go. Just go. Just ought to go." Before he can even stand and get his coat, she is already asleep there at the patio table, snoring lightly, the warm sherbet plop of the sun setting behind her. Jason thinks Sure, what the hell, maybe I'll put her in the movie. And that's how it starts. [THR]

Speaking of being fisted, the TBS sitcom Are We There Yet?, based on the César Award-winning farce movie series starring Icebod Cube, is being rolled out in an enormous way. The network is ordering 100 episodes up front (100 is typically the number needed for sweet, sweet syndication), even though the show hasn't even premiered yet. But, y'know, who am I to criticize. I'm guilty of the same kind of prejudging. Here I am comparing this nice-enough-sounding television show to being fisted, and I haven't even seen an episode of it. Heck, I've only seen the trailers for the movies. It could be brilliant! The Everybody Hates Chris guy is running the thing, and that shows was good. And Terry Crews is playing the lead, and he was funny on Chris. So, OK, fine TBS. I'll watch an episode. But 100??! Ted Turner, you crazy. [Deadline]

Think that Will Ferrell is sitting pretty right now, enjoying his success? Well, a lot can change in an instant. Next thing you know, he's gonna be drunk, out of work, kicked out of his house, and forced to sell his wares on the side of the road in freaking Toronto. Yes, that's right. Ferrell's new movie, Everything Must Go, a dramedy based on a Raymond Carver short story, will premiere at the Toronto Film Festival next month. This could be his serious actor moment in the way that Winter Passing and Stranger Than Fiction were supposed to be but weren't. He's on a lucky streak, so who knows! Too bad about the Canada thing, though. Nothing you can do about that. Ah well. [THR]

Uh, if you liked that show The Good Guys that was on Fox this spring, the cop one with the two likable actors but the sorta misguided everything else, well it is coming back next season, but with some tweaks. They're trying to girly it up a bit, with a new lady CSI character and more focus on romance. So basically, Nü Bones. Enjoy it! [Deadline]

Did you feel that? That tender ripping open of heaven and that angel's arm shooting down into your pulpy chest and giving your heart an ecstatic, joyous squeeze? Its because Entourage, HBO's cock-rubbed prime rib fart of a television series, is finally ending its far, far too long run. Yes, the show will end forever in the summer of 2011, after a six-episode eighth season. Then, that's it. No more Johnny Drama driving himself to seppuku levels of debasement. No more Turtle casually landing impossibly hot chicks. No more E strutting around like a pecker in a Pucci suit. No more Adrian Grenier doing his awkwardly aged dopey cherub thing. And most of all, no more oh-so cool girls who just casually say "Oh hi, Vince" when meeting one of the biggest movie stars on the planet and then laugh and get the boys some beer and are just all cooool about being horribly objectified. No more of that! Of course there's the whole rumbling about a movie, but the movie will only come out once. Not every week. Goodbye, everyone. Oh, and you too Jeremy Piven, who actually stopped filming the show three seasons ago and now they're just using old looped-in footage. I think I'll miss you most of all! [NYT]