Critics Review the Brand New Pop-Tarts Cafe: 'Frankly, Vile'

Today Pop-Tarts World descended on Times Square, serving unholy Pop-Tarts based snacks including the now-infamous Pop-Tarts sushi. The media went totally nuts, and by the end of the day, nearly every food website had taste-tests, commentary and slide-shows.

Here are some of the better ones we saw.

  • Zagat/Pastry Chef Ashton Warren:

    It's not bad, but it's not good, either...The texture is all wrong. You get the crunch, but there shouldn't be a crunch when you're eating a fruit roll-up.

  • The Awl:

    The store looks like Lisa Frank threw up everywhere, but in a good way.

  • Eater NY:

    The most impressive part of the space, however, is the Varietizer, where you punch six flavor selections into a touch screen console, and a robot device moves up and down a column stacked with the treats, pulling your picks with a suction-cupped arm, then depositing them into a pile down below.

  • Fox News/Shep Smith:

    Pop-Tarts now has a store in Times Square. Pop-Tarts, crossroad to the world. Pop-Tarts. I say we bring back the porn stores.

  • Gothamist:

    Like Proust's madeleine, the taste of the Pop-Tarts sushi instantly took me back to my childhood. Specifically, memories of attempting to eat bubblegum and graham crackers at the same time. I guess that's why I never tried that again.

  • Serious Eats:

    I don't know how this could be so much worse than the sum of its parts, but it was. Chalky and powdery and, frankly, vile. The extra fruit filling, maybe? Edibility, 1-10: 0. I physically could not bring myself to swallow.

  • Slashfood:

    It tastes exactly how it sounds — sweet, possibly too sweet. I would have been more content to empty out the filling and just eat the fruit wrap. However, I can see why it has such an appeal and I truly believe everyone should try it for themselves.


Critics Review the Brand New Pop-Tarts Cafe: 'Frankly, Vile'Republished with permission from Eater.com. Authored by Paula Forbes. Photo via Greg Morabito/Eater.com.