Sex vs. dieting! Childhood obesity debates! Bamboo bikes! Genius t-shirts! Swimming while criminal! And an easy way to beat anger, for stupid jerks! It's your Thursday Fitness Watch, where we watch your fitness—while ignoring our own!

  • A new poll finds that "half of women say they would rather go without sex for the summer than gain 10 pounds." Only a quarter of men say they would. Three quarters of men say they would still have sex with a woman if she gained 10 pounds. Half of women say they would kill and eat a man if they knew they wouldn't gain weight. One third of both sexes would have sex with a dead body if it would take an inch off their waists.
  • Childhood obesity is our nation's biggest problem for poor fat kids, health-wise. Here, two healthy employed women who are neither poor, obese, nor children debate the issue. How come nobody ever asks the fat kids?
  • Like to ride bikes, for fitness? Why not make it a bamboo bike? Because you don't want to pay like thousands of dollars for some shit you could break with a focused kick? Well, that's a good reason.
  • See the t-shirt you're wearing there? Scientists refer to that as a "dumb" t-shirt. Because it doesn't contain "smart" clothing technology that wicks away sweat, controls odors, monitors your vital signs, and helps burn calories! Yea, that's what the scientists tell you to your face.
  • A disturbing thing that happens in America is when all you wanted was to be a proud member of USA Swimming, and then it turns out the coaches were sexually abusing the young female swimmers the whole time. Swimming is about having fun and moving through the water fast, not that stuff.
  • Can exercise moderate anger? If the exercise involves knocking someone out, then possibly.