After five weeks of vomit-inducing PDA and one-sided "I love yous", the gruesome twosome of Rachel and Brendon are being split up. Thank God. Let's celebrate all the drama that led to their demise. Until the finale, au revoir, Brenchel!
With Kristen gone, the Big Brother house began to experience a lack of beauty. So what better way to begin making over the BB game by attaching our beloved house guests to a giant rotating paint can and splattering them till they couldn't take it anymore. Unfortunately for Rachel—who couldn't compete as outgoing Head of Household—her beau Brendon couldn't stand up to the combined might of Matt and Ragan (seriously) who have somehow soared above and beyond the brawn in the house to become the endurance challenge powerhouses. In the end, Matt won HOH for the second week in the row and the countdown to the inevitable end of the Brenchel menace began.
From the beginning of Matt's week as HOH it was clear that there was only one target this week. Brenchel. As soon as Rachel lost her crown, she took to her new, less lavish bedroom to do what she does best: cry. Despite Brendon's assurances that their losing wouldn't be the end of the world as they knew it (are delusions a symptom of cabin fever?), Rachel knew better and immediately began campaigning for herself and her man. Sadly, it was all for naught. Matt did exactly what the Brigade, the floaters in the house, and pretty much everyone in America with working eyes and ears knew he would/should do and nominated Brendon and Rachel for eviction. Again: cue Rachel's tears.
Promising to make sure one of them remained in the game—as if there was any other outcome available?—Brendon went into the Power of Veto competition vowing to win, and in the process almost killed Jeff and Jordan, the showmance from BB11, with a rage filled rogue bowling ball. He vowed to win, not for himself, mind you. But for Rachel. You know how people say love is blind? Well, for Brendon it appears to have been more of a case of love blinding him. Not since Marcellas in season 2 has anyone been so dumb when it comes to how to use the power of veto but, sadly, Brendon would never get the chance to repeat the mistake of using it on the other person on the block. Instead it was America's favorite player—and by America I mean Kristina and myself—who took control of her third POV this season.
We don't know why, but not everyone is a Britney fan. And during the POV ceremony, Britney's number one enemy appeared to not be Rachel's hair extensions or balloon boobs, but Brendon. He took the opportunity to pull an Andrew and ask for the veto to be used on him by insulting the veto-holder.
[There was a video here]
Some advice, Brendon: We don't care if this speech was a ruse to get Rachel to stay in the house, Andrew already did it when he was on the block and did it So. Much. Better. But what do we know? Once he was done tearing Britney a new one, who laughed it off and slammed the veto box in his face in the bitchiest and most fabulous way possible, it seemed that everyone in the house had changed their minds from the original target, Rachel. For the rest of the week, no one was safe. From Matt, whom he called a midget, all the way to Ragan, who he confronted in the backyard for making Rachel cry and allegedly mispronouncing the word "neanderthal". To be fair, though, Brendon
is a high school swim coach is a PhD candidate so he would know better than Ragan who is merely college professor in Communications. No problem.
But for now, let's take a break from Brenchel Watch 2010 and chat a little about that nifty Pandora's Box. Matt was given the chance to open it and he did. Duh. Remember, this is the guy who made everyone in the house think he wife has a terminal illness, so what would stop our little Mensa member from opening Pandora's Box even if that meant something awful would be unleashed on the house. Did he not read Greek myths as a child? In the end, he got the Diamond power of veto, allowing him to do a lot of really cool stuff if/when he decides to use it. We're not really sure what that stuff is, nor do we care, because nothing will ever beat Jeff's use of the coup d'état last season. Nothing. But opening Pandora's Box also brought back Big Brother's least successful twist THE SABOTEUR this time in the form of America's favorite gay, Ragan, who has already proven to be a better saboteur than Annie ever was. Not only has he managed to stay completely under the radar by using everyone else's suspicions about one another to his advantage, with cleverish messages questioning Brendon's motives and whether or not the nominees would actually be leaving the house come Thursday, but he also lasted a whole week! Annie couldn't even do that so here's hoping that by the end of next week that Ragan is $20,000 richer.
And now back to our regularly scheduled drama. Come live eviction day it was clear that no one was certain who would get the boot. With Rachel trying to confront, bribe and campaign to everyone she lived with, Brendon used what might have been his last few days to make everyone's life a living hell in an attempt to save his beloved buxom redhead. Not so sadly, his attempts failed, as per usual, and Rachel was ousted in this season's third unanimous vote. Now, there isn't much we can say about someone whose biggest contribution to the game was her relentless shouting at the diary room cameras so we'll leave it to Britney who always just seems to know how to say it best:
[There was a video here]
See you at the finale, Rachel! We hardly knew your discolored extensions and penchant for tequila. We're sure there will be plenty of liquor in the jury house for you to drown your Brenchel sorrows in while staring at a picture of your star-crossed Big Brother lover.
As always, don't forget to tune in Sunday and Wednesday to see who wins this tonight's twisted endurance-ish (again!?) HOH competition, which house guests end up on the eviction block, and who will win the coveted POV. Until next week, we leave you here to ponder these thoughts: Will Matt use the Diamond POV he found in Pandora's Box? Do we even care? Will Brendon cry himself to sleep every night without Rachel in his big swimmer arms? Will Julie Chen's cryptic warning about Rachel "not seeing the last of the Big Brother house" come true? But most importantly, who will Britney make fun of in the house now that Rachel is gone?