You guys. Did you know this was happening? One-time Gawker fixation and current bargain-bin micro-celeb Julia Allison — of website fame — has left New York City. Let's take a moment to reflect on the fameball that was.
Yes, Julia is moving to Los Angeles to pursue some measure of fame or something. She's been auctioning off her stuff, giving long kisses goodbye, and yesterday the movers came and she left this place. Sure she's coming back for New York Fashion Week, but that's just a week. Really, she is gone.
So how do you say goodbye to such a traffic-generating (once, long ago) angel? What is there to say of the life and New York death of Julia Allison, web 2.0's mine canary, harbinger of all things, grim explorer? I think you can only do it as the ancients used to: In poem form. So here, forgive our scanless meter and enjoy a farewell poem to one Julia Allison, because you can't spell infamous without famous.
The Night Chicago Died
O Julia! Hair a whip
Brown and thick and glossy
Like wet straw held in a be-ringed hand.
We knew you in Midtown
Knew you on rooftops
Knew you when you pressed your paws
Into the cold earth of the problem
Dredged up columns, jobs, mysterious money.
If you were once an Editor-at-Large
Are you now small? Shrunken
Not in society, NonSociety,
The ashes of Asha
The rambling Rambin.
When we are older and dying
And thinking of long ago things,
Will you creep into our mind?
Will you snake in through the blog window
Say, "What's up?" or "Julia Allison here"?
How much have you given us
That isn't perishable.
Will you turn like rotten fruit
Or sit forever still,
A mysterious and garishly labeled can
In the darkened pantry of oblivion.
Remember that on our first day
Of working at a blog
We did a Live Chat with you
And it was so confusing
All those people asking
Wanting, needing maybe, some of them needing.
And we remember you said "Stop!"
"Slow down!" you said
How we want that always,
To grab the reins of the world
And force things slower.
Remember the pink birthday party
Stop! Come back to us,
Blog, Reblog (!), Blog again.
Slow down, world! Cease, time.
When heroes leave us,
For dappled, sun-scorched shores
We become empty lofts
We become unclicked posts
We become runners
Headed into a darkest night,
Looking for something,
Some shock of pink,
Some hoarse whisper,
Some hard-nosed, bubbly girl
Who waved at us once,
Who winked, trilled her hand,
And, like light in winter,
Now please, we beg of you, write your own farewell poems in the comments!