Amazing 'Honest Bum' Now Getting Job Offers, Cash RewardsS

No doubt you've heard about Jay Valentine, the New York homeless man who unbelievably isn't a thief or a drug addict! He returned a lady's credit card after she loaned it to him. Now he's getting job offers.

The New York Post, who still can't believe they found a homeless man who is not a terrible person, says that the airline Air Wisconsin "would love for him to apply" to be a flight attendent. Some guy offered him $5,000, and dozens more emailed the Post with reward offers of their own.

All this because, as the Post explains, "Valentine could have stolen the card and gone on a shopping spree"—but he didn't! And we could have started randomly punching people. Where's our New York Post cover story? BREAKING: Meet the non-violent blogger who didn't punch even a single person today. Somebody better write that article soon, because the New York Post's coverage of this "bum you can trust!" is really making us feel like punching someone.